Q&A: How do you get your boyfriend/girlfriend to stop snooping through your phone?

Question by starrseeed: How do you get your boyfriend/girlfriend to stop snooping through your phone?
I do have to give some background…

Before anyone says, “You should have nothing to hide”… my boyfriend habitually checks and reads my conversations of text messages, (from my girl friends, too!) when I am sleeping or when he needs to “borrow” my phone. And then later on brings up random things he’s read about like days or weeks later if we get in an argument, (so I become aware after the fact that he has been snooping). Example, recently two of my classmates (one of them a girl, and the other gay) and I casually suggesting to hang out some day in the future. He maliciously asks me who the “f***” these people are.. And God forbid if anyone of my old friends texts to say hello. (I’ve had the same number for years).

I am in my early twenties, college student, and I have NEVER been in a relationship where you are expected to tell EVERYONE to f*** off and have no friends. When I met the guy I never imagined I would begin to feel so isolated like this? Anyone with similar situations?

Thanks for reading!

Best answer:

Answer by Abigail Needham
Password!!! Or just put it in a place he never touches youXD

What do you think? Answer below!

4 thoughts on “Q&A: How do you get your boyfriend/girlfriend to stop snooping through your phone?”

  1. Personally, I would talk to him about it. If he doesn’t stop, I’d definitely break up with him.

    Your phone is your right. I’ve never dated a guy who snooped like that. I’d be extremely annoyed and honestly, you have the right to hang out (as friends, of course) with anyone you want!!

  2. You can put a password on your phone to block him from getting into it, but that will cause more problems as he’ll probably accuse you of cheating on him or talking to people you’re not supposed to talk to. My advice, tell him to stop or break it off. If he is already controlling you by being pissed off about hanging out with classmates it’s not going to get better in the future. He’s going to alienate you from your friends, trust me I’ve been down this road before. Sit him down and tell him that you’re not comfortable with him snooping through your phone and it needs to stop. If he can’t trust you being honest with him and is getting so upset about hanging with friends then maybe you should rethink the relationship.

  3. Either he’s cheating on you already, or he just doesn’t trust you for some reason. Which begs to question. When people don’t trust their mates it’s usually just a cover up for their own infidelity. Or he could be showing signs of verbal and mental abuse, by isolating you he’s stirring fear in you, and soon you won’t have anyone to run to when he starts to get physical. But who knows he could be sincere. That’s something that’s always really hard to tell and most people never really find out until it’s too late. But either outcome, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s all about trust and communication and if you lack that, than i’m sorry but it’s bad news. I would try to get out of that asap. But that’s just me.

  4. Hi My name is Dan and I have the same problem, I’ve been in a relationship with a new woman after being married for 25 years! My wife had some issues being well…. not flirtatious and that caused not so good things in our marriage. It was an emotional roller coaster ride. I love this new woman very much, unfortunately I am the one snooping and questioning her the the way I did my wife ( though i had reasons to suspect) I didn’t choose to get over it. My point is my 25 year old son is this way also, he doesn’t want to be that way But what I’m saying it could be a learned behavior, so maybe he grew up around it! I also grew up around a lot of cheating people. I”m seeing a therapist to try not to be this way it’s very hard not to be. It”s Like you see a movie of your fears playing in your head ( not saying that”s OK to do what he’s doing)or what I’m doing.It’s an awe full feeling when you want to have a good nite and something triggers the fear and emotions that make us question what your doing, where you been? also some people project what they are doing to thier partner, not saying that’s what he’s doing,but you might want to be aware of that, I feel I’m going to lose this wonderful women because of this, so talk to him let him know that he might lose you, now if it”s to bad break it off! My girl did every thing to assure me my fears were not true from showing me her face book to phone bill emails and what ever else, but that dosn”t work it”s us the damaged ones, maybe therapy will help. But be aware that therapy makes you more suspicious for a while it’ brings up why your doing this. And bare with him if you can, my girl is starting to be distant and my heart is breaking very much! I wish I worked harder on getting over things, but you can”t help who you meet when you meet them. She the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I think I blew it, So let your boy friend see this and maybe it will help. Please read this a few times to really under stand how the mind works with theses things it” not so easy to control. Best of luck.

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