Q&A: Girl I like does not text back?

Question by Hyrule: Girl I like does not text back?
So since I came into uni, I have met this really kind, most beautiful girl in the world. We talk about funny stuff and laugh with each other when meeting her in person. She even asked for my number first rather than me asking her when we met. The thing is though, whenever I message her on whatsapp or just sms, she replies in a really simple/short way, doesn’t really carry on the conversation, I dunno, maybe I am being too cynical or bratty, but does this mean that I should give up on her? Like, she complimented my hairstyle, even though its terrible, and like stroked my hair when I rested my head on her lap after watching a horror film together with some other girls/guys, I think the stroking part maybe a bit condescending…..I am not sure…..what u think?

I asked my sis this, she said that YOU have to make the move, the boys must do this. You have to be bold from now on lil bro. Since I was born, I was and am a really nervous guy, especially when approaching girls, so I just let them try to approach me, or at least show me that they like me sincerely. She said that it will be extremely hard for you to get girls like that. So she suggested just ask her out for some harmless coffee, but I can’t even do that, I don’t want to get heart broken like before. The first time I asked a girl out, I gave her a love letter, and this was extremely hard for me and nervous, and in the end, she said no, gave it back, and said that she liked some other guy. I still remember that and I cannot recover from it, I always think that something similar might happen to me if I do ask or become too eager towards her. I again told this to my sister, she said that guys must have several broken hearts to find the right girl.

So in the end, should I stop texting her? Like, if I keep on texting her again and again, I am afraid she might find me too annoying. I dont text her too often, like maybe once a week

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Answer by Erm
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One thought on “Q&A: Girl I like does not text back?”

  1. Wow, wow, wow, stop right there, don’t even think about stopping texting her! Let’s think about this logically: why on earth would she ask for your number if she doesn’t want to text? Personally, I’m the type of person who differs a lot from when I text to when I talk in real life, o perhaps it is the same for her. My advice? Ask her directly. You don’t even have to be serious about it, just mention it in a conversation as a joke or something. If she gets all awkward and defensive about it, maybe her responses do have to do with you personally, but my theory is that she’s just not much of a texter/you keep catching her in moments when she’s not in the mood to text. Once a wek is nothing, if anything, you should be texting her MORE. A girl texts a lot to her friends, and she texts even more to the guy she likes. If she finds your texts annoying she should muster up the courage to tell you and not expect you to be a mind reader…
    (Note: did you text a lot in the beginning? If no, then you’re overthinking it. If yes, well…)

    I understand you’re nervous, but hey, no one ever said being in love was easy! It requires you to have the balls to put yourself out there and admit your feelings and risk being (mostly mentally) humiliated. You know the saying ‘Nice Guys Finish Last’? Well it’s true, only most of the time it isn’t because girls are such jerks, but because only the cocky egoistic assholes have the courage to approach the girls. You don’t want to be that Nice Guy, and you have the chance to avoid being one. There is nothing (I repeat NOTHING) more attractive than confidence. Looks, brains, talent, humor, kindness, etc. – those are good atributes and girls definitely look at them, but if you are insecure you won’t even get the chance to show the girls, or the world, what you’re made of!
    Some guys have that natural courage built in them, but other (like my older brother actually) have to obtain it. You’re not expecting to hit 25 and then somehow magically gain the skill of asking girls out, do you? 🙂

    Listen to your sister about the coffee, or, if you know you’ll be too nervous to keep a normal conversation going, ask her to the movies. Movies aren’t that great of a date tbh, but hey, it’s a good starting point. If you’re scared of reliving your trauma, just remember you are no longer the self-conscious person you once were – you’re a college student with a future. So a girl rejected you, big deal? Imagine some girl you know coming up to you tomorrow and giving you a love letter, and you reject her because you already have a girl you like – would you wish that girl to be miserable afterwards? No? Then don’t do such a thing to yourself.

    You’re awkward now, but it all.takes.practice. I mentioned my brother right? Well just 5 years ago he was one of the most introverted, awkward people I’ve ever known. Now? He could pull off the player-role if he wanted to. He went a little extreme and kinda turned asking girls out into a sport (see: pick up artists…) but I hope you still get my point. As morbid and mean as it sounds, you being too nervous about asking the girl out is your fault alone. You might fail a few times, but you’ll get over it.

    In conclusion, it’s time to either sink or swim – if she likes you and you keep playing that “But I’m too nervous card,” she’s going to either slip away or friendzone you into oblivion (she may have already, but if you want honest answers, you need to be honest yourself…) The only thing you are protecting by beating around the bush is your ego. Tell me, what is more important, your ego or this girl? 🙂 If your ego does get bruised, then years later you’ll have a story to tell of how you did your best to get this girl. But if you let this girl get way, years later it will still be a sour memory filled with thoughts like “Did she like me? Did she not? Did she friendzone me? Did she like someone else?…”

    Your choice.

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