Scoring a date with a girl you are into often require impeccable conversation skills. These skills are natural but some guys often find it hard to communicate with a girl they fancy. In today’s technological world, texting is a huge medium through which conversations between people take place. Working on your texting skills now days is a crucial part of the success you are looking for. So in order to successfully score a date with the woman of your choice, working on your texting skills is absolutely necessary.
Texting can be huge wall of brings for some men. A lot of men aren’t aware how to effectively text a girl that catches her attention, instead they keep on wondering what to ask and what to answer. Some of the questions that men ask themselves when texting a girl include; how effective has your text been to her? Did your text have any positive or negative impact on the girl’s thinking towards you? The ultimate reason to text a girl is to successfully catch her interest and score a date with her, but are you sending the right texts?
7 Mistakes You Are Making
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Texting… The Next Generation…
- Like many men out there I believed that texting was for kids and if you really wanted to score a date with a girl, you would have to talk to her directly or over the phone. But I didn’t realize that in today’s fast moving world, texting is a highly effective method to get in touch with the girl and get to know her. To be honest, phone calls are now considered a thing of the past, welcome to the 21st century where texting has become the ultimate norm to talk to girls and score a date.
Your ultimate objective when texting a girl
- Before we get into any advance techniques with texting, its important to outline the basics of texting. Learning the basics of texting will help you create effective and interesting texts that will surely catch her attention.
Firstly, it is important to know what your objectives are when you are texting a girl. Most men text the girl of their dreams without knowing their ultimate objective and end up sending uninteresting texts that girls find a huge turn off. So right now I am going to help you learn the effective way of texting from the very beginning so that you avoid sending unnecessary and useless texts. When texting the girl, your objective should be only either of these two:
- Setting up a meeting with a girl
- Building rapport or entering a comforting zone with the girl
You have to make sure that you never mix these two objectives together when texting the girl you want. What most men do when they text is that they try to simply attain a girls interest by sending her texts again and again and hoping to find some sort of a response from her. You are advised never to do that no matter what. If you follow this path, you will find yourself sending texts to girls that are random and make no sense at all. With these random texts, you hope that one of your texts may gain her attention, but in reality, she is getting annoyed by the random incoming texts by you.
So lets get back to our main objective here. You should make sure that when you are sending a text to a girl, she is made aware of your objective very clearly. She should know instantly that you are either trying to set up a date or you are trying to enter her comfort zone. Its completely okay to let her be aware of your intentions. This technique allows eliminating doubt from a girls mind. It allows you to tell her what your ultimate goal. This confidence alone is enough to keep her interested. I will say again that you need to keep the two objectives separate at all times, the moment you start doubting yourself and start mixing the two together, you lose the game.
Here are some of the dos and the don’ts of texting a girl:
The Dos of texting:
- Keeping your directing straight and be to the point
- Never forget your objective and mix them together
- Send lesser but effective and well planned texts
- Be sure to be precise and clear in your motive
The Donts of texting:
- Absolutely avoid random texts
- Don’t flood her phone with numerous texts
- Don’t write essays when texting, keep it short and simple
- Don’t forget your ultimate objective
Learning the difference between cold and warm texts
Before we get into the advanced and particular tactics when it comes to texting, it is important learn the difference between warm and cold texts. Having a distinction between these two is your road to ultimate success. So lets see what these two terms actually mean.
Cold texting: This is when you text a girl when she isn’t expecting a text from you or was not remotely thinking about you.
Warm texting: This is when you text a girl when she is expecting and thinking about you.
This helps you understand the mood of the girl and effectively write a text according to that mood. This distinction will help you all the way to your ultimate goal and plays an important part in texting.
Here are some examples to help you better understand the differences between these two:
- For example, let’s talk about warm texting first. Let’s say that you have a very good pal at the college or at your work place. You are heading towards the destination where you were supposed to meet this pal of yours and you suddenly receive a text from him saying that he is already there and is in the mood for lunch. It’s completely okay to hear from him because you were expecting to hear from him in the first place. But imagine if he would have sent you the same text at the middle of the night when you are planning to sleep, now this would have been quite awkward and you may end up asking yourself what the was the point of texting you at this time.
- This is the major difference between the two kinds of texting. The first one is obviously very straight forward and doesn’t make you feel awkward; the second one is something that would put your friend into a very weird position. You may end up asking questions about his intentions. He is a colleague but not so close to have lunch or dinner with, but he is texting you and offering you one which leads to questions asked about his intentions. You absolutely have to avoid this kind of a scene with a woman.
Structuring your texts for the best possible effect
Its important that whenever you text a girl, your text needs to have a fresh start and not feel awkward. For example, if you are texting a girl after not talking to her by any means for sometime, you need to carefully structure your text. When you are ready to send a cold text to the girl, make sure you include the following in the same order:
- Start text with a greeting such as ‘hey’ or ‘hi’
- After the greeting include her first name or any name she prefers to be called with
- Make sure your text has some sort of new stuff to discuss around
- Add anything at the end that gives her a hint that you want to get close to her
You must make sure to include all these points in your text because these are very important to convey your message and make her feel comfortable with you. Here is an example of how your text should be.
Hey Marian, I got stuck in a little business but will be reaching you in less than 20 minutes. You good with that?
- The fact that this text contains the last sentence where you ask her if she’s good with you being late plays a really important part. You are letting her know that you will be late so that she doesn’t have to wait on you. This shows that you are careful not to let her wait too long.
If you are sending a warm text, sometimes it’s cool to drop the greeting part of the message, but make sure to add all the other important bits into the text message. This is because she is already expecting you so there is no point in saying ‘Hey’.
The most important part of the structure process is using her name. Don’t just ‘hey’ her and start talking to her when you start a conversation. Taking her name brings a comforting feeling in her mind, it assures her that you texted her specifically. This also makes your text a bit more personal. It’s highly recommended to use the girl’s name whenever possible.
Another thing that you need to keep in mind is the use of emoticons and exclamation marks. This is important because if you include emoticons you will not only ease her out but also sound a little cute. She will think that you are always in a good and happy mood and not complaining all the time. Some guys use periods at the end of their sentences which gives a very serious tone and expression, try to avoid this at all costs.
Using the right kind of apostrophes will give her a feeling that you are really looking forward to see her or talk to her. It will also let her know that you feel comfortable with her and that it is safe for her to be comfortable with her. The good thing about texting is that you can choose how to show your emotions. But when you are texting a girl it is important to keep in mind that you will need to talk to a girl like a girl for the first few weeks or days. Being too masculine and serious can scare her away so it’s better to be a little feminine and cute to just snug into her thoughts.
Just don’t forget to create your text keeping the information and consideration very clear. The information serves as the purpose of the text and the consideration is important to construct a bond with the girl. When you add in a consideration, you show the girl that you care and your concentration is nothing but her.
You have to make sure that you construct your text properly with the right emotions. If you don’t add in the emotions, chances are she would assume that you are in a mood that you really aren’t. Sending texts with no information is completely useless. You do not want her to be left confused as to why you are texting her. If it’s a cold text, it needs to have a purpose and your purpose is your information.
Here are some examples of information and considerations:
Information could be anything from:
- I watched abc movie and it was really amazing… have you seen it?
- We should meet up soon!
- I can’t believe how much this city is obsessed with shopping…so many people flocking to this store.
- How was your day?
- How are you fairing against the changing weather?
- What do you plan to do this week?
Notice how the consideration sentences are structured. These questions not only get her to talk to you but will also sound fun and exciting for her to reveal the answers. She will let you know her plans for the week and will feel great to share it with you.
You can skip the questioning if you have to, but never ever get rid of proper information, greeting and consideration. These are the most important points that you must include in your text.
If you follow all the structure rules just provided to you, your texts will instantly become personal, fun and response worthy. These well structured texts will help you put on a good impression in her mind and will most likely end up in a warm response.
Texting a girl to build Rapport
- If you are texting a girl just to build rapport, it is highly recommended that you send the girl a text after the first few hours of your meeting with her. If you met her in the morning, then your timing should be at least 4 – 5 hours away from the time of meeting, if you met her in the night, it’s okay to text her after a couple of hours right before you go to bed.
The very first objective to keep in mind when building rapport is to eliminate the communication gap and establish a comforting zone with the girl. You have to work towards getting her to comfortably talk to you before you do anything else. This is why it is recommended that you text her after a few hours of meeting her. The more you will wait, the more awkward it will become for you two. Just make sure to send in a text after a few hours meeting. Here are some examples you could choose from:
- Had a great night with you! J – Alan
- Wonderful to know that someone else also thinks like me J – Alan
- It was a pleasure running into someone like you tonight J -Alan
With these text messages you are actually giving her a goodwill statement that will let her know how pleased you were to meet her. Using an emoticon is important because you need to express your emotions. You also give her your name which she will easily remember from now on.
If you follow these guidelines, you are building:
Rapport: You quickly and effective enter the comfort zone of the girl and eliminate any awkwardness or the communication gap. When you send your text for the first time, you will easily be able to contact her via phone or text again without feeling bad because you have already contacted her.
Establishing yourself in her mind: You automatically let her know that you liked being with her and remember the meeting. Believe it or not sometimes guys don’t message back when they first see the girl and then when they finally decide to text her, it becomes too late. The immediate response from your side is important because girls have a very weird way of thinking. She will probably think whether you liked her or not when you first met her; sending in a text after the first meeting calms her down and gives her the much needed answer.
Your name: You don’t realize but when you text her for the first time with your name at the end, you are actually making her remember you with ease. It is hard for someone to remember names when they are meeting a lot of people, chances are if you told her your name during your first encounter, she might have already forgotten about it. So don’t let her wonder what your name was, just let her know through the first text you send. It is a very well known fact that woman tend to forget names no matter how much solid your meeting was with her. She will remember your face and all the things you did during that time, but she will easily forget the name of the person she did these things with. Don’t let her feel embarrassed because of this, be nice and send her your name so she can easily remember. Remember girls also don’t tend to talk to you when they don’t know your name out of sheer embarrassment.
When you first meet the girl, it is essential to send a text after a few hours of meeting, but after that it is important that you do not contact her for at least the next day. If she doesn’t reach out to you automatically, it is time to send her some more rapport building texts to further enhance the comforting zone and ease out the communication gap. After your first text, it is important to follow the following guidelines when sending the second rapport building text:
To the point: Never send in a text with long sentences, just send a simple to the point text.
Be positive: Don’t start talking to her about your problems or the bad side of life. Girls generally don’t like listening to this kind of stuff, so be sure to be upbeat and fun loving when you text her. If you do that, you will become the person that brings some light into their lights and they will generally want to talk to you.
Send only few texts: Keep your conversation minimum. Don’t go overboard with texts and limit the total amount of texts to 6-10 only. Unless and until you are in a very good conversation, do not break this rule.
Keep an eye on the time: it is important to avoid texting her back immediately when she sends you a response. This generally gives her a feeling that you are waiting to reply back to her with your phone stuck in your hand. In order to avoid this, notice the response time of the girl, if she texts you back after 2 or 3 minutes, you should double that. This will eliminate any sort of feelings from the girls head about you being after her. Always keep a good variance in response times. Sometimes you should consider texting back immediately because maybe she is bored and wants to talk. If she immediately texts you back, don’t hesitate to text her back immediately too, still keeping a good variance between response times.
Texting a girl to arrange a meeting
This is the part of texting that most guys will prefer. Even I sometimes decide to go directly for a meeting rather than setting up a meeting. There are some general rules you need to follow before you decide to go for the big fish and set up a meeting. It is normally always a good idea to build some rapport with the girl if you are a beginner. Here is a general schedule you should follow if going for the meet up:
- Send the first rapport building text several hours later from the first meeting
- After two days of meeting, send in a few rapport building texts
- After four to five days, you can go ahead and arrange the first meeting
This is all you will need to bring her out of the shell and in front of you. However, it is always better to judge whether rapport building is needed or not depending on the kind of girl you met. If you think rapport will not be needed with the girl you just met, and then go ahead for the big game. It is important for you to keep in mind that a girl doesn’t need to be talked to several weeks before she can come out and meet you, you should simply aim to get her out with you.
Have you ever come across a sales call? You probably have and chances are that you don’t like it. You hate how the salesperson pushes you over the phone to get the deal done. This is exactly what I am trying to tell you not to do. If you spend so much time just talking to the girl, she will think this way. She will know that you are just trying to get her to come out. You should simply aim to get her out in the first place and not let her wait. When she finally comes over and meets you, she can then decide whether you are worth her time or not. Simply aim to get her to meet you.
Ever since I decided to stop waiting for weeks before meeting the girl, I have been more successful in getting meetings than ever before. Believe it or not, when you first start with the girl, there are more chances of her coming out to meet you than later on. So don’t wait too long and just get her out to meet you.
Here are the three things you should keep in mind when going for the meet:
- Be sweet and warm to the girl
- Give some sort of value in the text
- Don’t forget your ultimate objective of getting her to meet you
If you follow the above guidelines, your text should look something like this:
Hey Annie! Let’s decide a time to grab a cup of coffee together. How does Saturday afternoon sound to you?
This is all you need to do, there is a huge chance she will text you with a positive response, you can then go on and decide the exact time of the meeting. Just make sure you end the conversation after you have gotten a positive response.
Just make sure that when you are pushing to meet her, don’t make it sound like that you are too eager to get out with her. Be gentle and calm and sincerely ask her out.
If you can follow all the guidelines I provided you today you will notice that your dating skills will be far better than before. If you learn the art of converting your texts into meetings, you will have already secured a good place in her heart. Just keep enhancing your own text skills and you will get where you want to be.
Here are some additional suggestions for people who are beginners or advanced users:
Beginners: Keep a good eye at response times and the different times of the days when it is okay to text a girl. Keep a good count of the amount of texts you send, never go beyond or below the normal threshold. You will have to ask her out no matter what so don’t waste too much time in doing so.
Intermediate: Avoid long texts and being boring while also keeping it balanced and not going overboard. Talk calmly and nicely and arrange a date.
Advanced: Go directly for the big game and score a meet up as soon as possible. You don’t need to build rapport even if you are that good in texting.
If you haven’t already, go out and meet a girl today and score a phone number with her. After you get that, follow these guidelines and see how things work for you. Remember, practice makes you perfect, so keep trying until you get the hang of texting properly. I can assure you that following these guidelines will improve the chances of getting to date the girl significantly.